A tasteless lifestyle

I started this blog with the purpose of presenting to the world what I thought was an interesting spin on unemployment and the absurdity of our modern day job market. I came up with this idea much like anyone would by sitting around with a few buddies over efficiently cheap and inebriating beer, and throwing random ideas into the air for a possible quick laugh. Yet I took one of those ideas, which at the time I thought to be brilliant, and ran with it. I created a forum to voice the trials and tribulations of  this tasteless stage of life as a means of comedy, comfort, and support to those who were living in tastelessness. I even bought the domain name.  What I did not realize was my shortcomings in understanding the meaning of a truly tasteless lifestyle.

How can one truly live a tasteless lifestyle when one depends on the effort of others? How does a group oriented blog fit in to this specific life philosophy if one actually has to take time out of one’s busy day of doing nothing and sit down to write ideas? Isn’t a blog just a shameless form of self promotion that goes opposite to the founding principles that to be tasteless you must be deceptive in nature to distinguish yourself from being an average deadbeat or just a shameless bum? These uneasy truths became apparent not through a friendly chat with fellow tasteless lifers, or a forum where it was pointed out that the blog ran contrary to the underlying themes of living a truly tasteless lifestyle, but by the slippery behavior of a tasteless Jesus that proved to be the true tasteless one in the group. He is called Fillet O’Fish in some circles.

I started the blog in September of 2009 after the previously mentioned meeting, and Fillet O’Fish aka Tasteless Jesus was one of the most ardent advocates of this project. However, little did I know that he was about to teach me a valuable lesson in what being truly tasteless consisted. He went about showing me the true meaning  in his own slippery messianic way letting his actions do the talking. He avoided contributing to this blog through persistent avoidance of responsibility, slippery change of subject tactics, and all out in your face just not doing something because he did not feel like it. Out of all of the contributors he was the one with most leisure time, stories, and perspectives to make this a truly great blog.

I sent guilt messages through Facebook mentioning that I had paid 10 dollars for the domain name. I strongly urged him to contribute during phone calls using our friendship as leverage. I gave incentives to post extracurricular projects such as DJ gigs on the blog to entice him to do his intro. I also opened up a twitter account so that he could just write 140 characters and contribute in some way to this seemingly great idea. Junior Bacon  called him out on this very same blog to prompt him into action by writing an intro. We just wanted to see where this project could lead. Finally, I gave a deadline – “If in five days you do not write your intro… I will”. The five days passed and this is what I saw as his Facebook status:

The tasteless Jesus is Peter Dobrik and although the failure of this blog falls squarely upon his shoulders he has truly accomplished his goal of showing me how a truly tasteless being should behave. I stand not defeated but enlightened and will pull the plug on the dying corpse of this once good idea that simply was not meant to be released unto a world that was not ready for  it . Peter your summer of fail has turned into the tasteless fall of fail. I encourage the people reading this last article to read the other four postings so that if one day you encounter someone that goes by Fillet O’Fish, Slippery Pete or just simply Peter Dobrik you will know that you are facing some truly magnificent tastelessness

Don Noodle